1) What should I do today? - 9 of Swords - keywords Clairvoyance
This is the "nightmare" card in other decks, but here when I look at this card I see her ignoring the perceived scary darkness around her and paying more attention to her intuition. She does have a tear in her eye, but she's concentrating on getting past it. Sometimes knowledge can be scary......where does your intuition really come from? Should you trust it or not? She always knows more than she really is comfortable knowing. And this is so me!!! Sometimes I wish I could just LIVE my life in ignorance of what more there is in the universe. Then of course I come back to myself and love that I don't. LOL But there are times........ So what's she's telling me to do today is accept that I can access more than just the everyday information. Yes, sometimes it's hard, but overall I really do like that it's there for me to see.
2) What shouldn't I do today? - 4 of Cups - keywords Misplaced Beliefs
This indian brave is sitting there completely ignoring the white eagle coming to bring him a full cup. He's got his head down, not looking at anything more than feeling sorry for himself. There is alot of depth and beauty in his surroundings but he's not paying a bit of attention to any of it. So I shouldn't close myself off today. Pay attention to what is around me, not just wallowing in the negative emotions I have been feeling so far today. Look up! Pay attention! There are people, things, etc that are there to help me if I only look up to see them.
3) Overall - Tower - keywords Self Awakening
Eek! But this Tower card shows someone grasping the lightning....using it to expand his awareness.....maybe burning away that which he does not need anymore. hmmmm.......I just saw a small person down at the bottom of the tower looking up. From where he is he can't quite see what's happening at the top, but he's curious. He wants to know. Maybe this is telling me it's a journey to self awakening. You start at the bottom and work your way up to where you can access and ride the lightning. It's not an easy pathway, but through determination and commitment it can be done.
OK, so how to put this all together????? To me it's almost as if the 9 of Swords and the Tower are two parts of the same thought. That it's not always easy. Sometimes the most rewarding things give you doubts every now and again. I love the spiritual work I do, but sometimes wish it wasn't so hard. And sometimes I do want to just wallow in my misery. LOL Of course all that does it make me feel worse, but..... LOL So I should be looking at today as part of the journey. I am heading where I want to be going, but it is hard sometimes. I think mostly because of my doubts and uncertainty. I think I make it harder than it needs to be and I'm being told to snap out of it. LOL Just accept!!!